How To Release More And Grip Less

It’s a wild world out there.

We’re constantly bombarded with news, media, traffic, people, and circumstances that give us a lot to react to.

Most of our reactions involve either gripping or releasing. In other words, we choose to armor-up in velcro or slide into Teflon.

Your choice to either grip or release has a tremendous influence on your emotions, your actions, and ultimately, your life.

In most cases, anxiety, fear, guilt, shame, frustration, and anger are gripping emotions.

Most often, we experience these emotions when our mind latches on to a thought or belief that we’re unwilling to question or let go of.

We start yelling, stomping, slamming, flipping off, throwing, slapping, punching, and even killing.

Sometimes our gripping actions are more self-imposed.

We hang on by numbing out, stuffing our homes and bodies, or internally tearing ourselves apart.

We don’t think we have a choice. But, we do.

In fact, I think we have a moral obligation to realize the consequences of the actions we choose and manage them consciously and compassionately.

No matter what the world dishes out, we are free to choose whether to hold on tight or let go.

And if we’re going to clean up our society, heal our relationships, calm our nervous systems, and create the life we desire, we’re going to have to get a handle on our mind and emotions so we can act in ways that solve problems instead of creating more.

So, pause and notice your reactions.

Are you gripping or releasing?

When do you hold on tight?

Do you allow yourself to let go?

Are you wearing more velcro than Teflon?

What might be different for you if you released more than you gripped?

How To Release More And Grip Less

If you’d like to release more than grip, here’s a simple process to practice:


Pause, breathe and observe how you feel. Realize that how you feel is being caused by thoughts in your mind.


Consciously question the thoughts causing you to hold on tight. Be curious. Are they true? Why are you thinking them? Are they working for you? What might be a more self-compassionate and self-loving thought?


Free your mind, calm your heart and flow with ease. Rinse and repeat.

When we notice, shift, and release our grip, we alter our brain’s chemistry, calm our nervous system, and choose a more compassionate way of acting toward ourselves and others.

We always have a choice, and remember…you can’t grip and release at the same time.