How To Identify What’s Really Holding Your Back?
Setting goals is one thing; achieving them is another.
We start out strong and energized, and certain it will work “this time.”
Yet, within weeks, maybe even days, our goals fade into the abyss of self-sabotage.
We don’t think we’re the reason we don’t achieve our goals.
But here’s a news flash my friend: We are!
We often sabotage our goals because we’re not quite sure that achieving them is actually going to make our lives better.
This causes inner turmoil.
We doubt, question, negotiate, rationalize, and excuse.
Eventually, overcome with inner conflict, we do the easiest, most comfortable choice available: Nothing!
Or, we return to old, comfortable, dead end habits.
The years tick by as we start, stall, and stop.
Nothing changes and yet we wonder why.
Here’s an exercise inspired by Robert Holden, PhD, author of Authentic Success, that can uncover what’s really holding you back.
1. List five reasons your life will be worse when you achieve your goals.
For example, our powerful subconscious mind believes that talking ourselves out of weight loss will protect us.
Or, that continuing to feel anxious will keep us safe.
But once we identify the real reasons that we’re holding ourselves back, we can begin to challenge the reasons.
In most cases, the reasons are a collection of thoughts and beliefs that are simply not true and totally optional.
2. Confront your fears.
The reasons you identify are most likely tangled up in fear and anxiety.
Therefore, questioning your reasons and dismantling their logic will remove their power.
Are your reasons really true?
Can you be sure that they are absolutely true?
Are your reasons simply irrational, negative thoughts, past, limiting beliefs, or old stories?
Explore your reasons compassionately with curiosity.
Notice how your reasons are always thoughts and not facts.
3. List five reasons your life will be better once you achieve your goals.
Isn’t this what you really want?
Don’t these reasons light you up?
Aren’t these reasons enough to keep going and never, ever give up?
Of course they are!
But, until you identify and deal with WHY you fear success and sabotage it, you will never reach your goals.
For instance, a lack of knowledge or information about how to lose weight, feel less anxious, and create the life of our dreams is rarely the problem.
We don’t need to read another book, take another course, sign up for another program, or learn more.
We have what we need.
Instead, we suffer from a lack of consistent committed action, which almost always involves what’s going on in our mind.
So, figure out your reasons and then get to work deconstructing them.
Who would you be without your reasons?
What would you be doing without your reasons?
What would you have without your reasons?
Image what you could achieve if you dumped all your reasons.