Ever wonder why it’s so hard to let go of stuff?
Why the question, “Keep or toss?” breaks us out into a cold sweat?
Why is it so excruciatingly difficult to separate and detach from stuff?
Not just stuff inside our homes, offices, and cars, but also stuff inside us that we hang on to as if life depended on it.
As I’ve contemplated why I’ve held tightly to stuff over the years, the one constant is fear.
I’ve noticed berating thoughts like:
“You can’t get rid of that!”
“You’re going to give that away?!”
“What if she finds out?!”
“You’ll hurt his feeling if you don’t keep that!”
Whereas a variety of feelings have attached me to stuff, beneath them all is fear.
Fear that if I let go and toss, I will pay the ultimate price: disappointment, rejection, judgment, shame, pain, and guilt.
If we receive stuff with the expectation that we’ll keep it forever, perhaps we need to cease receiving this type of stuff, less we end up buried alive!
We might think that people impose these thoughts and feelings onto us and people can impose their judgments, but we choose to endure and indulge in the fear of removing stuff.
We decide to tell ourselves stories about what will happen if we let go and toss stuff.
Same for all the stuff we’re glued to inside us.
We cram our minds, hearts, and bodies with so much negative, limiting, painful, and down-right mean stuff.
Inside, we store thoughts about ourselves that serves no empowering purpose and only weighs us down and prevents us from fulfilling our dreams and desires.
We’ve convinced ourselves that we have to hang on to it forever and that it’s glued to our existence for life.
Keep Or Toss?
Now, I’m not suggesting that you toss all the stuff that you’ve received in our lifetime.
But what I am suggesting is that you consider keeping only what brings you joy, laughter, fond memories, gratitude, love, and self-empowerment, and tossing what doesn’t.
I also suggest displaying what you’ve carefully chosen to keep where you can see it, enjoy it, and allow it to inspire and empower you.
When you decide to get rid of stuff, and I hope you do, get very clear about the feelings associated with releasing your attachment to the stuff.
Feel the fear that’s preventing you from detaching from the stuff and explore it deeply.
You might discover that fear is attached to a past event, loss, relationship, or interaction.
But no matter how much stuff we hold onto or keep piling on ourselves, we’ll never bring the loved one back, erase the past, or undo what’s been done to us.
All that’s an internal process that has nothing to do with stuff.
Coming to terms with the reasons for attaching to stuff is an individual process that takes time, patience, and healing.
Although the insight you discover might feel painful and troubling, allow yourself to use the insight in a meaningful way that transforms your life instead of burying it in stuff.
Whereas love connects us to each other, it’s fear that cements us to stuff that no longer serves us or brings us joy.
You see, feeling fear is normal, so it’s not about eliminating fear.
It’s about not allowing fear to keep you stuck and glued to stuff.
In other words, feel the fear and toss stuff anyway.
The more you allow yourself to detach and clear out your internal and external spaces, the more spacious you’ll feel.
The freedom is invigorating, energizing, gratifying, and remarkably freeing.
Will you still feel fear? Sure! But, toss the stuff anyway.