Why are we here?
We’re here because we’re meant to be here.
“It was always meant to happen that way.” ~Brooke Castillo
Because it did. Period.
Pointing fingers, blaming, accusing, rationalizing, explaining, defending, and all the array of colorful behaviors we’re choosing won’t change today, nor will holding resentment.
We’re here because of the thoughts we chose to think, the feelings we opted to feel, and the actions we decided to take.
Same holds true for our life.
Our life was always meant to happen this way.
Because it did.
“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.
How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”
There’s no going back.
We can’t change the past; it’s complete; it’s done.
Ruminating, wishing, hoping, and trying to figure out why life unfolded as it did will not change it.
We can only change right now; we can only influence this moment.
I think what we need most in this moment is gratitude; I think we could also use forgiveness.
When we practice imaginable, and unimaginable, gratitude, we become spacious; we accept everything and everyone…even the most gut-wrenching, horrifying, shaming, and painful.
When we practice forgiveness in the same light, we open to a similar expansiveness.
I call it grateful forgiveness.
Grateful forgiveness is being grateful for all that the Universe provides and forgiving all that did not serve us well, including ourselves.
“I’m grateful for this moment. I forgive how I got here.”
When we practice grateful forgiveness, we create space for reflection, understanding, compassion, and conscious awareness.
We create expansive possibilities.
Of course, personal choice might not warrant some events and encounters as deserving of gratitude or forgiveness. I get it.
You always have a choice.
Likewise, grateful forgiveness does not condone, forget, or dismiss.
Instead, grateful forgiveness allows and accepts what is and that it was always meant to happen this way.
Why? Because it did…I forgive. I’m grateful.
When we choose grateful forgiveness, we’re free.
Resisting Grateful Forgiveness
However, our human tendency is to resist gratitude and forgiveness.
We resist and in turn, create so much hardship on ourselves.
We hold on tight, afraid to release and let go.
Holding on serves a purpose for us…as if we’re entitled, justified, or our identity depends on it.
If we let go, then what’s left of us; who will we be?
I remember holding on to bitter, angry resentment, as if my suffering and anguish were part of my identity.
If I released it, who was I.
More so, if I owned it, could I survive the guilt and shame I would feel?
However, once I started practicing grateful forgiveness, I was able to release years of resentment, suffering, and anguish, and move forward.
I was free.
Practicing Grateful Forgiveness
It’s pretty simple, but not necessarily easy.
All you need is a journal or notebook and something to write with; I also recommend water and Kleenex.
First, write down every person, place, or thing you feel anger, disappointment, resentment, even hatred toward, including you.
Then, write every thought and feeling you hold for each person, place, or thing. Don’t overthink it; simply get it all out and down on the paper.
Next, go back and repeat the following phrase or mantra for each person, place, or thing:
Notice how you feel; allow and accept; mostly, notice any resistance that stirs.
Resistance is common when practicing grateful forgiveness.
Allow yourself permission to feel it; don’t resist your resistance!
Give it time, space, and grateful forgiveness.
Once finished, go on with your life. Check back in a few days. Repeat as needed.
I’d love to hear what you notice.
Sending you inspiration,