For many of us with ADHD brains, feeling anxious is common.
We feel anxious, and suddenly, we’re searching for something to help us feel better and faster.
We might reach for food, drugs, alcohol, and even credit cards, anything to escape how we feel.
It’s a vicious cycle that only lasts for so long. It’s a short-term fix to a long-term problem that, in the end, creates more problems.
Over time, our reactivity can cause health, relationship, work, and/or financial issues. In other words, whether we resist, avoid, or react to our emotions, they will win every time.
To change this self-destructive cycle, we must learn to accept anxiety, feel it, and let it move through us instead of reacting, fighting, and pushing it away.
Eventually, and with consistent practice, things will shift.
“But feelings can’t be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.”
How To Feel Anxiety
The process is quite simple, yet not always easy.
When you feel anxious, pause, breathe, and connect with the anxiety. I know it’s uncomfortable. I get it.
Instead of avoiding or trying to escape it, stay with it. Feel it, and please keep breathing.
Don’t resist or react.
You might change the scene by moving to a different place or space.
Walking or finding a quiet place to center and feel the ground might also help.
Notice how you feel.
When you’re ready, you might reflect on the source of the anxiety.
What was happening before you felt anxious?
What were you seeing, hearing, or experiencing before you felt anxious?
Was it a thought or belief you had about something that happened or someone?
Was it a physical sensation you woke up with, or came out of nowhere?
Asking ourselves reflective questions can shift us into a curious mental state of inquiry that can ease anxiety while revealing the source.
Whatever you ask yourself, please try to avoid blaming anyone or anything for how you feel. Blaming solves nothing and most often increases anxiety.
No matter the source of the anxiety, compassion is important. Beating ourselves up will never ease anxiety; it will only worsen it and further erode our relationship with ourselves.
Remember, ADHD brains frequently experience hypersensitivity and anxiety.
It’s not our fault, but our responsibility is to manage and regulate our emotions.
I know it’s uncomfortable. Yet, as uncomfortable as anxiety can be, it can’t harm us.
Anxiety can signal us to check in with ourselves and explore what’s happening inside our beautiful ADHD brains.
We don’t need to fight, ignore, or fuel it.
Because as you and I know all too well, it will win every time.
So when you feel anxious, give yourself permission to feel it and let it be what it is, move or change the scene, and gently explore the source with compassion.
Keep breathing, practicing, and taking care of yourself.